![]() ![]() So let it go for now, but also consider whether there’s anything you could be doing to make life a bit easier for her, and then do it. Your needling her to tell you what’s wrong is only going to require more energy from her, not less. Either way, she might have decided that it’s simply not worth the energy it takes to sit down and have a discussion about what she feels when you leave clothes next to, rather than inside of, the hamper. Or maybe it’s simply a battle she doesn’t want to fight. Or maybe it’s short-term: While you’re looking to buy a new car, you both have to share one, and she fills up the tank twice in a row. she’s upset that you didn’t plan well enough to come over to her parents’ anniversary dinner. Maybe the problem is only salient in this particular moment, and isn’t recurring, i.e. So when a woman says she’s fine, she might just be hoping this is one of those problems that solve themselves. But you also learn that some problems just go away on their own. A big part of being in a mature relationship is learning that, yes, you need to bring up problems when they arise. But it’s also why, sometimes, when you ask a woman what’s wrong, she might keep her mouth shut lest she get labeled “high-maintenance.” As a woman, you get good at shrinking down your emotional needs and expectations, just to make sure you don’t come across as “crazy.” Is this depressing? Yes. Media images of crazy girlfriends are pervasive, and it’s been drilled into women that we should try to be the Chill Girl who drinks lots of beers and never brings up any of her problems. (Don't get me started on guys who label their exes “psychos.”) Women are constantly told that we’re overreacting. And she isn’t a bitch for asking that you spend at least some of the time you’re together not staring at your phone. Your girlfriend isn’t crazy for asking why you have sleepovers at your best female friend’s house, which you then “forget” to tell her about. Most women have, at one time or another, been slapped with those labels just for voicing totally normal and healthy concerns and boundaries. All of those things get thrown at women-sometimes all at the same time. She’s been conditioned to believe she’s overreacting.Ĭrazy. ![]()
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